Angels on the road

This is a story about how a greiving father and a daughter who missed her own father(me), connected, and how the experience offered comfort and healing to us both. I remember this time in my life as being filled with a sense of freedom and adventure.I was living on a river with some friends, for about a month, with my little dog, Raku(I was told raku meant happiness in japaneese..is it true?), a few changes of clothes and a small pack. I loved sleeping under the stars and waking up early in the morning to the cool crisp fresh mountain air. I loved the feeling of the unknown; looking for stray jobs caretaking animals or gardens in trade for food or a little money, walking miles a day everywhere I felt led to walk and just the all around freedom of no thaving any material attachments or obligations, if I did not want them. I treasure that time in my life, because, it engrained in me a sense of knowing that I could survive with , almost, nothing, or start over from, almost, nothing and be ok with it. This proved to be a handy experience to draw on in my life as I was forced to begin over from nothing, in my latter years, a couple of times, and I drew on this experience to help me through those times.One day while I was walking the 1-2 mile walk in between the two small towns, Garberville and Redway, I noticed a small truck slowing down a bit and looking at me while i walked carrying my little fluffy dog, Raku. I took note of the truck, yet, thought nothing much of it, until, the next day, taking the same walk, I saw the same truck again. This time the man slowed down, even more, and was staring at me. I felt a little uneasy at first, yet, something told me he was safe or he was "ok". A few moments later, the man approached where I was walking from the other direction, so he must have turned around to drive back the other way. Suddenly, I saw him drive slowly up onto the shoulder at a turn off and pull up along side of me. I stopped and looked at his face as he slowly pulled up and saw a kind fo pain in his eyes that moved me and, somehow, I knew he was ok. He asked "I know you may think I am a stranger, and I do not blame you if you don't want to, yet, woudl you like a ride?" I said "umm no thank you, I love to walk, yet, thanks for the offer."He looked down and bit his lip and looked back up with tears in hs eyes and asked"may I please show you a picture of my daughter? I am on my way to donate a scolarship in her name and..God..you look so much like her, I really thought I was seeing things..I really thought..you were an angel. I told my wife I saw our daughter walking down the road a few days in a row and she said I must be seeing things..but you are real.."He told me he wanted to stop becuse he was on his way, a few times, to donate a scolorship in his daughters name, yet, could not bring hisself to do it. After seeing me, he felt he had received a sign, of some kind, from God, that she was offering him the strength to do so. He continued to tell me, his 21 year old daughter, that looked, almost, identical to me, was married 6 months ago and was 3 mos pregnant. When the daughter and new husband were moving down off the mountain her car went off the side off the road and she was killed, instantly. This was such a close loving christian family...so similar to mine. I began crying and said that..I had been concerned or worried, lately, that my father loved me or was proud of me and, somehow, feeling the love for his daughter helped heal me in some way, in that moment. My own father had been going through some difficult issues with his business and I think I was interpreting his sense of defeat as directed towards me at times. Anyways; We both gained something that day; I was offered a job, counceling, at a christian camp for teens. A place had been left open by his daughters absense..I had a deep revelation about how much my father really did love me, after this man assured me of it. He was insipred to , finially, make the trip down south to offer the scholoarship in his daughters name, and I made a new friend. We both cried and hugged (through the car window) and about a month later, I was walking about 3 hours from one small town up into the hills where my sister Dianne lived, with my little puppy, again, and up on a hill to my right i heard "wait!! wait!"
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I looked up and there was this man I had met on the road, about a month before, running down a long driveway. He said "nanci! youve got to come up and meet my wife! Noone believes me..Noone believes I saw you and met you..they think you were a vision!" I saw his wife in the background with her hand cupped up to her eyes , trying to get a focus on me. I said "ok"I walked up the road and his wife reached out an dhugged me as soon as I reached the top..she welcomed me in..told me the story about how the daughter and her husband were going to move onto the property and the husband had begun to build an addition..yet stopped working on it when her death occurred. She said; " after he met you, he was insipred to finish it so it was a blessing". She showed me pictures, on her mantel, of her daughter, and I could clearly see, we could be twins! They continued to stare at me and somehow I wish I could ease the pain in their eyes ..it just fel tas if they were conforted, yet, I was not their little girl. She was a year older than me. When I went to camp to offer my services as a councelor, Nicole (the young girl who had passed away) had a brother , Jason, who attended the camp. He had been depressed and not talking much to anyone, yet, came up to me and attached hisself telling me he felt somehow he was with his sister..so we bonded , also. The whole experince, I feel, is one of those experinces that is arranged by spirit! It was a blessing that we all connected and help eachother to heal and enriched eachothers lives. 15 years later, when I made a phone call to the mother, she told me that my husband and I taking homeless people in had insipred her and that she had used the addition meant for her daughter to take homeless girls in to help them get on their feet. It is amazing what one hello can lead to..when we trust and open our hearts to the merical of spirit! One smile can heal beyond our imagination. It has been 10 years since I have contacted the family and I think i wll make attempts to do so, in the next month. I wonder; is there even more to the story..I will let you know!
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messages from beyond

After my father passed away, I was determined to keep his love and his ways alive and strong in my childrens lives, and in mine too, of course. We shared memories about funny times, joyful times and , even, difficult times and how grampa, gracefully, handled the situations to enhance the best outcome. My hopes were that my children would have a wonderfuul example of their grampa and be able to have thier own stories to tell their children about this wonderful man! He had a soft, loving, kind of grace about him and for a,generally, big man, I always saw him as graceful. I did not realize that until now. There are so many stories about him while he was alive; Like how he told me about the 12 angels he works with and sends to his children when they are in need of different things in their lives. There were, among others; the "Angel of Wisdom", the "Angel of Comfort", the "Angel of Determination", just to name a few. I remember being so touched he shared that with me because; he was not a big talker, yet, when he did say things they seemed of the utmost importance. Anyways, I recalled a story I love to share with people. I do not remember dates, very well, yet, I think it was about 2002, when my son was living in Michigan. (I was in California). I woke up from a short dream and since I seemed to wake up urgently and suddenly, I took a minute to just lay there and ask my self "wow, what was that all about"?After gaining a little focus, I rememebred it was my father, in my dream. I, usually, just see his blue eyes without him saying a word. This time, he said "Call J and ask him to look out the window....he will know why". At that time in the dream he was puffing on a long skinny brown cigar and I smelled that familar smell..yuk!Ok. Now, the thing is; my son was at the age where he gently teased or razzed me about "being psychic" or "hearing things", lol. I already knew he had intuition throughout his life, yet, it wasn't spoken about, directly, so I knew he was kind of unsure and uncomfrtable about it all, and, thats ok! I had to be myself and hope through the insecurity he would always love me, at least, if not accept how I saw things. I had made a strong decision too begin offering readings in 1996, after my father passed away, because, at that time, the senses were so intense and the visions so strong; I knew I was being asked to share them. It was a private world, however. I did not share it as much, with J, when he was little, as I do now with my 2 girls, because I was a full time single parent, working a 9-5 job and life was full of obligation and responsibility to the max. I, also, knew my ex husband might think I was an unfit mother if I shared such notions with his son..so i squelched or buried that part of life for the most part. It had to be that way in order to provide for my boy and keep him safe and cared for (and fed). Anyways; thats a whole other story filled with little stories, lol. Back to the main story. I sat up and thought to myself "oh my gosh, your kidding dad! you want me to call J? I want to keep you alive, to keep you involved in our lives, yet, call J., and ask him to look out the window for a few minutes and he will know why?"This is one of those times I felt tested. What would it be; Put everything, my whole self, into keeping my fathers guidance/love alive and risk my son razzing me or thinking I am crazy..(or tell my ex who undoubtedly already felt I was..well..something other than normal)or perhpas, I could let this one slide and wait for an easier task! ha! I have learned the best results come from leaping in with all my heart and soul! If i feel fear..it is not fear..it is just intense adrenaline because I am pondering doing something that is risky. It was a challenge and I LOVE those kinds of challenges; ones that come from the spirit world and offer inspiration to myself and others. I won't lie, however. I made some coffee, and checked my e-mail..building up enough nerve to outweigh the extreme adrenaline of calling my son out of the blue and telling him his grampa....well, you already know. So I made the call at about 7:30 in the morning. I am glad teenagers sleep in late, because J being in bed ads to how this experience played out.I called with my heart pounding and telling myself to remember; this was about J and grampa; not me, this was about J and grampa; not me. Gawd! I can be so dramatic at times, yet, it makes for good stories :)After lots of rings, a groggy J answered J: "hello?"me: "Um..hi J! it is ma..how are you?" J: "tired moooom! it's early, what do you want?"I thought "ok..it it's ok..hes cranky no big deal..he loves you just say it".I said something like " Well, I am tired too and I want to go back to bed so let me tell you something really quick. You might think I am crazy , yet, I don't care..grampa's words will not let me go back to sleep until I say something so let me say it, to you, so I can go back to bed too!"J: "Grampa? Grampa said something? to me? How..in a dream?"Then a softness came over him ; I could hear it in his voice. Everyone had a softness in ther heart for Grampa. I asked "is there a window near you?" I knew he lived in an old farmhouse and had never seen it so I hoped the window was close to his bed so he could easily look out it without standing. He said; "A window? come on maaaa."I said;"ok I am just going to say it and go back to bed, J. Grampa came to me in a dream that felt so real. He never talks in dreams, yet, he was smoking a long cigar thing and said to have you look out a window and you will know why".Right at that instant, I remembered that Jason was questioning many things in his life..what was important..was grampa still around..he had some heavy things going on in his life.J: "ok ma..I will do it and call you later."me: "but..is there a window near your bed, though?"J: "Yea MA"me: "can you see out of it though?"J: "No, ma, there's shades".me: "well you have to open the shades because grampa said look OUT the window, not at the shades".J: "MA!! come on..Ok I pulled up the shades"me: (releived my part was over) "Ok good! thanks j! Sorry to bother you honey..so..talk to you soon.. i guess".J: "ok ma, bye, I love you".me: "I love you too."
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I wanted to go back to bed, yet, my adrenlaine was too high from it all, so I did other things and wondered if he would call or if I had made a mistake. But gosh..dad never spoke tome in a dream before..to me it was a big deal!These kinds of things are what make me feel alive and full of purpose, somehow..maybe because it helps to inspire and keep loved ones connected? I, still, am not sure. Maybe I am misunderstood, yet, at least; I feel alive! I feel it is part of my purpose and we all have a right to that so I am being true to mine!About 15 minutes later J called back.J: "MA! ok you won't believe this".me: "what..yes I will just tell me.?"I had NO idea what to expect..maybe he saw a blimp fly by with a message.. lol..maybe a white bird landed on his window? So he proceeded to tell me he did not get out of bed. He sat up reached up and pulled the shades up and sat there for a bit..he saw nothing. Maybe grampa just wanted J to know he was there with him..or wanted J to take some time out to remember him or think about him.Anyways; J told me after he sat there for a bit and he saw nothing out the window..he smelled smoke and thought it was wierd so he turned his head and sitting perfectly on his shoulder was a line of ashes ..as if they had just been flicked off of one of those long skinny cigar things..he looked at it and brushed it off and it smeared on his shirt..I think that woke him up because he had excitement in his voice telling me the story. I will never forget the excitement and how he called me back and told me the whole story and how it doesn't make sense because where would perfect line of ashes come from when alls he did was sit up in bed? We wondered why gramap would do that and came to the conclusion he wanted to let jason know he was still with him and he could count on grampa to send his angels, too!
Years later my husband told me when J was asked about it..J said..he made it up..J said.. "it couldn't have happend..he did not want to talk about it."I feel I know better..I believe it happend. One day I will ask J again and see if he wants to talk about it..what do you think?
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